Therapy?

I believe in magic, and I believe too, in prolonging the magic. An analogy to this is that I never ask how a magician’s trick is performed, because I want to be awestruck everytime I see the trick, again and again. Who cares about how the trick is done, so long as you enjoyed the grand finale? Prolonging the magic. I do not have the keen scientific eye (unlike some of my friends) to visually dissect every detail because it so pleases their ego… so they can say "Yes! I know how this works!"

I say let things be… let the truth be spoken by itself in time, for most of the time if you see things as they are all you’ll have is bitter truth. And that’s exactly what we don’t want to be when we grow old… bitter. So you know the ways of the world, good, but it has also robbed you of your innocence, your trust, your sense of security… sometimes ignorance is bliss. Just sometimes. See how happy the children are? Whisper words of wisdom… let them be.

While many of you know me in person, I might not have had the chance to reveal my background, because there never was a proper way to do so unless you’re back at secondary school essay writing, or everyone around you is mute. So, as a gentle reminder to myself, and as an all-too-brief introduction to you all, this is… a Cliff’s Notes to my life if you will. So this is what it will be… my story dissected… the bitter truth. Don’t you wish for a little ignorance now?

Some brainwashing is in order.

1. This blog is not created with the reader in mind. Everyone has their narcissistic streaks, this is mine.
2. The motivation is self-discovery, and as a form of self-therapy.
3. The psychiatry posting changes people. People think its an easy posting, but here’s the catch. Countless times when you read about any psychological, psychiatric or personality disorder, you will stop cold coming across a disorder tailor made for you. And you become more self-aware, more conscious of your decisions and motivations and where they take you, more careful of what you think and say, more critical of yourself and even others. And most of all you think there’s something wrong with you, and why you aren’t locked up with the patients in the first place.
4. And yes, we try to shield these unwanted thoughts, covering it up with layer upon layer or humour, healthy anecdotes, maybe some false reassurances that you are in fact doing rather well. But strip away all these layers, and you have your psyche laid bare. And it’s not a pretty sight.
5. This is my whole purpose here in this blog. Several gaping holes in my past that I’ve left alone either intentionally or not, that I shall try to come to terms with here. They might be sad, happy, a song pulled from memory… anything if you will, that helped shape my character the way it is today. Ultimately I hope to have renewed sense of purpose, because although I think I’m getting along in life fine enough, there are many unresolved issues that plague me to this day. This is my therapy.
6. Because of this, I will use minimal humour here. Those who are used to my humourous nature will be left disappointed here. Talk to me in real life if you want a good laugh. I’m usually pretty serious and brooding by myself. It ain’t fun, but there’s no pleasing everyone.
7. I will not tell you about my daily ongoings, what I bought at MidValley yesterday, or how I walked to 7-11 in the rain for a Slurpee and how their new flavour tasted. Again, talk to me in real life if you want a dose of that.
8. I will not tell you how much I enjoy U2, Oasis, rock music in general, the latest movie trivia, any showing off in gerenal, because it would not be consistent with what I have in mind here.
9. I will not wax lyrical about the nice-nice restaurants I’ve been to. Sorry Steph.
10. I myself do not know how this blog will end up. The current concept: entries drawn from memory and how they shape the person I am today, and what I can learn from.
11. This is going to be extra personal, as I would reveal thoughts not usually revealed in daily conversation, so if you’re not prepared to read them, and you’re happy with getting along with me in real life just fine, I don’t blame you. This is a narcissistic blog anyway.
12. And if you noticed… this is going to be wordy.
13. Along the way… who knows? The typical Arien would start off strong and leave the project lying in the middle once the interest fades… this might just happen here as well, so don’t expect too much from here, as it might just be a passing phase, or bandwagon jumping. Don’t laugh Wei Shung.
14. My hope is that… I learn something from each entry and become a better, more understanding person because of this. If you like what I write, fantastic. If not, it’s okay too.

Let us begin, friends.