Pride… In The Name Of Love
Comments(0) "Mmmmm…. mmmmm….
Let us be lovers, we’ll marry our fortunes together…
I’ve got some real estate here in my bag.
So we bought a pack of cigarettes and Mrs. Wagner pies
And we walked off to look for America."
My dad… he absolutely loved Simon and Garfunkel. And I always thought he had this song, "America" - a song about moving away and starting over in a strange foreign land - playing in his head when he told me this story a long, long time ago, of where it all started. His father, my granddad.
"Son, listen well, because this is important and you need to know. About where we came from. This story is about my dad, and how he came from China with his hopes and dreams to start a new life here."
"My dad was born in Guangdong, China. His brothers and his family all settled there for many, many years and were doing quite well. He finished school and was a young lad full of promise and fire in his eyes. In his 20’s he decided to answer a national call for working oppourtunities in this new, baby nation… Malaya. He saw opportunities in Malaya that he never thought possible in his homeland. Braving the unknown, he came here with his young wife, my mother, to start life anew… simply because he wanted a better future for his wife, his children, and his children’s children. That was the 1940’s."
"He’s a hard worker all his life, born with hands suited to hard labour. And that he did. Settling in a small obscure township in Perak, called Temoh, he worked day and night as an apprentice chef. Not only did he do the cooking, but he also had a hand in the ordering of goods, stocktaking and in the preparation of ingredients. He’s an all-in-one worker."
"As time bore on he endured the trials and trying times of World War II, including the news of his father being captured by the Japanese and also the struggling economy affecting his business. He took the bitter with the sweet, and in time that too gave way to sheer moments of joy. In the years to come he would have 8 wonderful children, and he earned enough to buy over the restaurant he once worked as an apprentice for. All through his hardship."
"I am the eldest son, and saw through most of his hard work. The 8 of us, of course, helped him out in the restaurant business since young, and we never had any qualms about it. We lived good lives and were brought up very well by my dad and mom. He earned enough to send all his children to school, put me in medical school in NUS and even my brother to New Zealand… all with his own two hands."
"So when you look at him, his tired eyes… you can see he’s led a hard, but rewarding and ultimately fulfilling life. He’s a quiet man, and always keeps to himself, but it’s only because he has a lot of pride in him. He doesn’t ever want anyone to perceive him as weak, even in his times of trouble. Raising a family of 10 after moving to a new country is something very few people can do, and that is what my dad is proudest of. And he has a right to be."
"This is the pride that you should carry with you. Of your own achievements. Of the legacy carried by your grandfather. Be proud of what you stand for, and above all else, remember where you came from."
My grandfather lived through many battles, and he took his blows like a man… probably the toughest son-of-a-gun I know. In his twilight years he maintained his authority and gruff exterior, but deep inside remained a enormously caring man with enough sentimentality to melt the coldest heart… he would await every Chinese New Year for his family, all three generations, to return to Temoh, where he never left, and he would cook up a storm no matter what. He rarely smiled, but when he did, my God, it’s akin to the heavens smiling upon the earth.
It is with a heavy heart and much despair to let go of my grandfather last July. He succumbed to complications of diabetes after many years of fighting. Even when he knew his prognosis was poor, he’d rather be treated at his home than spend his final breath in a hospital. His will was never to be denied. And so at his very last moments, in his own bed, hooked onto a ventilator, we all took turns visiting him… and it was extremely hard to accept that a man once so strong would look so frail now. He went away peacefully… surrounded by his loved ones, in the home that he built.
You could never take his pride away.
This coming Chinese New Year would be extremely different. Without the two cornerstones of this celebration, both my grandparents who went away last year, I don’t know what’s awaiting us at my granddad’s old house in Temoh. It would feel strange and sad to be there… indeed what is there to celebrate? But knowing that my granddad would like nothing better than to bring the family together again… I don’t know. I don’t know.
Rest well, granddad.
So this new year, and all the ones before, and for all the new years in future, my resolutions have 
