Therapy?

Out with the old, in with the new.
Out with the cold, in with the flu.
Out with the hold, in with the glue.
Out with the gold, in with the blue.

It’s the New Year’s Day. Come one, come all. We all deserve to be a little crazy sometimes.

I’ve never been to any of those slam-bang over a million served thank you New Year’s Day special countdowns in big huge crowded places full of people with no place else to go. I’ve never really gotten the point, really, of being washed up in a sea of anonymity. The point I do get is that on special occasions we deserve as much privacy and intimacy as possible with the people we care about. When else do you get to do that?

Cases in point… and this pattern has never changed.

2000… IRC with two of my best buds.
2001… Ipoh Chicken Rice with my fantastic classmates.
2002… I’ll write about this someday.
2003… Atop Bukit Jalil park with my housemates.
2004… More of the same.
2005… At a makan place with my fantastic coursemates.
2006… I’ll write about this too.

Turning back the clock to when I hadn’t yet received my driving licence, of course it’s family time, and shopping the whole of New Year’s Day. And TV specials. For a few years in early secondary school, there was a very famous Gary who hosted a lot of shows for TV2. No not Gary Gan from TV8 although he’s a hoot too. So if anyone remembers Gary Thanesan give yourselves a pat in the back.

He’s the guy who gave me my first lesson in staying awake all night and sleeping the whole day after with his all-nighter TV2 New Year’s Day call-in specials. Music videos, dedications, an electric host, prizes, drunk people calling in… what more could a 13-year-old want? With junk food in hand and a pot of coffee, my family sound asleep, I’d watch his call-in shows year in, year out until it was eventually discontinued about 3 years later.

The themes are always the same, they would always be repeated, and no one would ever become bored of it. Who gets bored talking about new year’s resolutions, post-holiday diets, or going back to school? I used to try to call-in with much vigour and try to win some free CDs from the show. But having a house phone that actually requires dialing… there’s not much hope la. This was 1995, before the handphone boom my friends. The story of my life actually. Cursing my luck. Pondering the what-ifs. Waiting for my rocket to come. New Year’s Day with Gary is not all that fun if you’re not winning anything.

People come up with new year’s resolutions all the time because on the whole they want something they don’t think they have. I’d resolve to have more luck if that meant winning some CDs off Gary Thanesan. But then again, if you really, really thought hard, there is nothing you need anymore, other than more of the same. You want to keep your friends, your family, your sanity… you already have it all. If you stop to count your blessings… and believe me there are many, many things to be thankful for… every blessing you can think of makes your life just a bit more complete. Besides, "resolution" comes from "resolve"… solving something you already know the solution to once again, balancing your life and keeping yourself in check.

Basically wishing for the same things year after year and reinforcing those thoughts over and over again.

I do have a million things to be thankful for (and the hairs on my heard make up about 300,000 already) and I can go on all day about them. But then, we all do. We listen in on other people’s fortunes so we can be happy with them and aspire to be like them in a way. Even in misfortune there has to be a silver lining somewhere. I’ve learnt that many times over. So this new year, and all the ones before, and for all the new years in future, my resolutions have never changed, and never will.

To be a better son, first and foremost.
To be a better brother.
To be a better friend.
To be a better student.
To be a better person, on the whole.

But it helps to have a little luck to go with them, now won’t it? All the better to win a few free CDs now and again.

Afterthought: while typing this entry the song "New Year’s Day" by U2 kept echoing in my mind. A quick search in Google revealed a few lines which hold special meaning to me. Maybe they will to you in some way. Everything’s open to interpretation my friends.

"All is quiet on New Year’s Day
A world in white gets underway
I want to be with you
Be with you night and day
Nothing changes on New Year’s Day
On New Year’s Day…"

"Though torn in two, we can be one
I will be with you again
I will be with you again…"

To everyone… a Happy Belated New Year.