Therapy?

This is a story everyone has read before, and will we told again for generations after. Especially in the context of our country… with a lesson to learn, and an image to upkeep. Does anybody remember this? Four childhood friends with four generic names, Ali, Ah Meng, Muthu and John, stick together like, in the words of Forrest Gump, "bees to honey". They live in the same neighbourhood, attend the same school, look out for each other. Inseperable. When the time came for university, they finally went their separate ways but with a promise… to meet each other at least 4 times in a year, during Hari Raya, Chinese New Year, Deepavali and Christmas.

4 times in a year… at that time I thought it was ridiculous. How does anyone sustain friendship like this? I certainly could do better. But then what did I know when I was 8?

More than 10 years on I’m eating my own words.

Granted, I have seen my old friends nearly everyday in school for God knows how long.

Granted, I have all their contact numbers, e-mail addresses, MSN IDs, and even home addresses so I will never lose contact with them.

Truth is, I have been taking my old friends for granted.

It wasn’t always like this. Right after Form 6 we had our own Yahoo group, to update each other, check where we were at. And even when I was in UPM I woud be calling people left and right on weekends if I returned Ipoh, to see if anyone was too. And best yet, half of any of my holidays would be spent looking up friends in their respective unis… Penang and Cyberjaya used to be my favourite haunts.

Like the Celine Dion song… "those days are gone".

As time bore on, the only time I looked forward to seeing my old friends was in Chinese New Year. The rest of the year would be blamed on overwork, lack of holidays, increasing comfort with new friends and conflicting schedules… most were not necessarily true. Time slipped silently past, and then the Paradox of the Great Divide happened, or more likely the fear of it: The longer apart you are with someone the less you have to talk about when you eventually meet up. The fear of bring able to sustain more than a 15-minute conversation was stifling… after you ask how they were doing and where they were, what next?

A year has past. My Penang and Cyberjaya friends have quite literally switched places. Those that have graduated in Penang have started working in KL and vice versa. My favourite haunts diminished, I was losing touch even further still.

But then, as always, fate has a funny way of giving you a boost.

Besides festivals, there were certain events that would always bring people together without fail. Reunions, convocations, sending offs… weddings. In other words, fate handed me a Get Out Of Jail Free card. A very fortunate ex-classmate of mine has found his life partner recently. By sheer chance alone he still had my number and casually invited me to his reception. So casual in fact I thought he was asking me to a regular weekend yumcha session.

"Hello Ah Lau, remember me onot?"
"(Stark realisation that I deleted his number) Er…"
"It’s Ah Teoh."
"OH! (establishing familiarity by calling old nickname) Luen mou ***!!!"
"Aiya, don’t say liddat la. So long never talk already…"
"Orite la, wassup?"
"I’m getting… married to Yee Ching this weekend. Will you be in Ipoh?"
"Sure."
"Come over my place Saturday night alright?"
"I’ll be there."
(Stark realisation that I’ve forgotten where he stayed)
*click*

What a friend I was. But once again, I was homeward bound. Where my thought’s escaping, where the music’s playing.

The best part of the weekend was discovering who else was back too. I called up my best friend in secondary school and found out he was also back in town.

"Hey Ah Pok."
"Hey Ah Lau." (our names were quite monosyllabic)
"Going Ah Teoh’s right?"
"Yeah."
"You know where that place is?"
"Think so. Somewhere in town."
"Goodgoodgood. I pick you up tomorrow OK?"
"Sure."
"(Stark realisation that I’ve forgotten his house number) Your house is No.52 right?"
"It’s No.44."
"Dang."
*click*

After picking Ah Pok up… somewhere in the middle of town, we got lost anyway. More time in the car catching up with old times, I guess. A quick phone call remedied that, and moments later we were at Ah Teoh’s pad, early even. One by one the familiar faces popped up, my old classmates… it’s like high-school all over again. Some things never change. No matter what type of person you’ve become over the years in university, back here you’ll still stick with the people you’re close to, remain unfamiliar with those you aren’t, and if you weren’t a ladies’ man back then… well you still aren’t. Dang.

Nonetheless the evening went on fantastic, and continued till deep into the night. There was no pause of conversation. Old times, new times, good times, bad times… if not for the wedding photos it seemed like it was 1999 again. We all left on very good terms… the Paradox of the Great Divide seemed not to exist anymore, and I was proven wrong.

A hearty congratulations to Ah Teoh and Yee Ching. May your lives be filled with joy and laughter. To all those at the reception, it’s been great seeing you guys again, and sorry I couldn’t make it to the wedding dinner. But we will see each other again soon.

So… lesson learnt? Seek out your old friends. Fate will take care of the rest. Remember the old autograph books we keep near the end of Form 5 or 6? Find them and read each entry one by one. Take every friend you’ve ever made, every word that was written exclusively for you, every corny thing that was ever written about friendship and you will realise all of them ring true… your friends never wander too far away. The only ship that never sinks is friendship. FRANCE = Friendship Remains And Never Can End. That old Michael and Victor song "Wo Zhao Ni Zhao Le Hao Jiu" (I’ve searched for you for so long). With time, all the corny words become nostalgia, and there is no substitute for that.