Therapy?

I just got this for you… YOU ASS. You just admitted you’re pretentious. Whahahahahaa.

But still… chill la dudes. You’re one of many, but not the greatest fake ever. Seriously, no one’s MORE pretentious that that dude in the Hennessy commercial in the cinemas. "THIS IS ME." Yeah that guy.

The guy who wore a harness, did a vertical backflip onto the canvas, and landed perfectly on both feet… JUST SO HE CAN PUT HIS FRIGGIN FOOTPRINT ONTO HIS PAINTING. What, cannot put the canvas down and stamp on it ke? Ass.

The guy who felt the side of the moving train so he could translate that FEELING into art. WAH. SO COOL. In this country sure got jaga <breep!> you with the whistle and go "WOI BLAKANG OI!" before you lay your dirty fingers on his sweet ride. Either that or I hope your shirtsleeves get caught in the train doors and you get dragged all the way to the next station. Translate THAT feeling. Ass.

The guy who did not bother to wash his face in his own exhibition, chillin’ with his Hennessy at the balcony and hopin’ all the chicks dig his paintings. Wah, never heard of soap isit. Want to make sure everyone knew who the painter is isit. You low self-esteem fastard. Hope the unwashed paint from your fingers goes inside your Hennessy and you choke. Ass.

(There’s even one chick in said function who makes a face like she’s saying "OH MY GOD I CAN FEEL THE TRAIN MOVE" while looking at the stoopid train painting. Yeah you definitely deserve him.)

And at the end of the ad he goes "THIS IS ME." He forgot to add "I know I suck thats why I’m drowning all my sorrows with this here Hennessy. Glug glug glug." Or maybe that part got edited out. Either way… that pretentious ass.

So the standards of pretentiousness have already been set very high… and you have nothing to worry about, dear reader. Hell, everyone deserves to be
pretentious once in a while. So go on, complete your surveys and continue to amuse me. I am a caring person. I love reading all your surveys.