Therapy?

The night is far from young, and the road is arrow-straight, pindrop-quiet, with only the chill of twilight and the amber glows of streetlamps as my company. The road drifts on til forever, no beginning nor end for the weary, lines layered upon lines on it directing me to follow them, to the final destination. I am driving home alone. Thy kingdom come, thy kingdom come.

I turn on the radio, tuned it to 104.6FM, listened as I traversed, and began to dream. Oh why does this song seem so familiar… oh why does it bring a tear to my eye…

"Heavenly shades of night are falling, it’s twilight time
Out of the mist your voice is calling, ’tis twilight time"

The road comes to a sudden end, with only the darkness, and a fall, beyond. I drive on, unperturbed, not content with any shift from my current sleep-dream state. And my car begins to float, as if it has silent wings from underneath. I close my eyes.

"When purple-colored curtains mark the end of day
I’ll hear you, my dear, at twilight time"

And whence I open my eyes again, I am no longer floating in the clouds nor sinking into the deep… I stand perfectly still, at a place that once more burned a deep gash of familiarity into my subconscious. It had a strange warmth, and of securedness, like nothing I have felt in a long, long time… a lifetime ago. A place I once called home. The song keeps playing…

"Deepening shadows gather splendor as day is done
Fingers of night will soon surrender the setting sun"

Of course, I think to myself, it’s "Twilight Time" by the Platters. My parents used to play this all the time, right after "Only You"… it’s all coming back to me. Taking a few steps around my home, I see a few artifacts my home used to have, the aquarium, the rattan furniture, and the Sansui stereo backed into the corner… I thought we had gotten rid of them after much misuse, but there they were. I walk towards the stereo, and a figure is standing before it. She turns around.

Mother… she smiles at me.

It really is a lifetime ago. Way back when, back in primary school, when I knew there was only one other man my mother’s life besides my father… but he was such a gentle soul even my father did not mind. He was Rizal Abdullah, the voice and gracious host behind "Sentimental Moods" every Sunday night from 8 til midnight, on Radio 4. Mother listened to his show religiously, every week without fail. And everytime she did, she thought of why today’s music cannot ever come close to her precious oldies, and never will. She liked it that way… every time she listened to the show a part of her past came back to sweeten her life once more.

"I count the moments darling till you’re here with me
Together at last at twilight time"

I feel a tap on my shoulder. I look behind and see my father. Oh he has aged well. Still the strong figure I grew up with, still the gentleman I wish to become. He nodded at me and walked past me, into the arms of my mother. And they danced and waltzed before the song could end.

"Deep in the dark your kiss will thrill me like days of old
Lighting the spark of love that fills me with dreams untold"

I know I have many tales to tell them, and precious little time to do so, but for now, just for this song, I think my parents want to be alone. I walk away as they danced at twilight time.

"Each day I pray for evening just to be with you
Together at last at twilight time"

I open my eyes, and once more I am behind the wheels in the still quiet of night, with only 104.6FM, Light and Easy radio, breaking the silence. The Platters song has ended, and another oldie is playing in the background. 5 minutes from home…

Whether by voluntary or subconscious persuasion I do not know, but since 2001, every time I had a good evening out, whether it was an outing with friends, meeting family, or after a date I don’t want to forget… on the long drive back home, I tune to Light and Easy, and dream away. Rizal Abdullah’s show might have long ended since my parents’ time, but every now and again Light and Easy does the trick. And on the long drive home alone, in essence, I never really am.

"Each day I pray for evening just to be with you
Together at last at twilight time"

I miss mom, dad, my sister, and all my old friends. It’s December… it’s the sentimental month, after all. Happy holidays.