Colorblind
"I am color… blind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside…"
The few things that bring people together can be put into two big groups. Festivals and tragedies. Weddings, new years, reunions offset by disease, diasaters and funerals. Judging by the news we read, the things we see with our own eyes, it’s really hard to become an optimist these days. We often trumpet the "triumph of the human spirit" in the "face of adversity", but do we really need another tragedy just so we can be nicer to each other? To demonstrate "humanity"?
"I am ready
I am ready
I am ready, I am…"
I am frustrated about a number of things going on right now. Too often we take our friends for granted and take minor misunderstandings to heart. Too often we expect too much from our friends, only to be disappointed and hurt later, and you die a silent death all by yourself. A small spark ignited to a bonfire, and all that has happened before, good times aplenty, are thrown asunder by one incident. We don’t look at the big picture. We think too highly of ourselves and think others should do as we do. For we know what’s best.
Or do we really?
"Taffy stuck, tongue tied
Stuttered shook and uptight
Pull me out from inside…"
This song reflects a state of mind. When the world comes crashing down upon you, and you need to find a quiet place, your sanctuary, to gather your thoughts and make whatever contingency plans you can… for the sake of your sanity and wellbeing. You get numbed by all the wrong you see in front of your eyes, but in spite of that you realise you can’t be cooped up inside your hiding place forever. You try to come out. But you need a bit of convincing… that coming out of your sanctuary is worth your while.
"I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am… fine."
One of my oldest, closest friends is in a time of need. I wish I could say better things, be more understanding, offer more help, and listen more intently. But as it is, "I’m sorry" are the only words I could muster, because all the world could not understand how you feel right now. I can only wish that… as this chapter of your life closes, you learn to accept what life has dealt you. Acknowledge the pain, but don’t let it overpower you. Let love heal all wounds. As ordinary as all these words sound, they worked for me when I needed them most.
"I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
Pull me out from inside…"
I am, once again, guilty for the crime of only contacting my old friends whenever a festival or a tragedy occur. For today, unfortunately, it had to be a tragedy. I wished we could have talked in happier times, but we were all caught up in our own whirlwinds. Never mind… better talk than never.
"I am folded
And unfolded
And unfolding, I am…"
I plead with you, my friends, today to seek out an old friend, and find out how he/she is. Talk about the old times, but don’t just leave it there. Or better yet, patch things up with someone who you’ve had a misunderstanding with. Don’t do it out of routine, do it because they really matter to you. Life is too short, too amazing to dwell in petty wrongdoings. Forgiveness is a powerful spell we use too little. We fail to acknowledge that, and we fail ultimately as a breathing, feeling human being.
"Colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am… fine."
This post is dedicated to Mrs Goh, a wonderful mother, wife, teacher and friend. I only wish I could’ve known her better, but her influence resonates far and wide. A wise and nurturing soul who had so much love to give to everyone around her. I will always remember our cheerful banter, and more importantly, one thing I have not shared with anyone. Way back when, we were on the phone the day after my parents went, and very few of my words made sense as I was too lost in my own grief. She gave me a few words to live by… and in her words I found so much healing, so much hope, that I could never fully express my gratitude.
Thank you for everything, auntie.
"If God would send his angels would everything be alright?"
~U2
